Have ever thought of how a responsible or how you will be a responsible parent to your family or for your kids?.
Have you ever seen some parents who seems not to care about the welfare of their family? Parents who don't mind,they are ever busy with work,drunkard,cheaters,haters name them. They seem to forget their responsibilities.
Becoming a parent is a life-altering experience that comes with immense joy, but also great responsibility. Parenting is a lifelong journey that needs dedication, self-reflection, and continuous learning. To be a responsible parent means to prioritize your child's well-being and development, while fostering a nurturing environment that promotes their growth, happiness, and independence. .
Probably most of the parents they are trying and some are giving full responsibilities to their families. They struggle day and night,to make sure that their children or family members have all what it takes.
When we were growing we used to see our parents made sure we could eat,sleep well,we go to school,dress well and we enjoyed all along seeing our parents to take of us. Sometimes I remember my parents if they made a mistake of buying a shoe,a cloth,a bag or anything new and forgets or assumes that others have,that house would be more fire, because we could ask why they didn't buy for all of us. This gave the parents pressure to buy for others. We could not understand what they were going through either financially, psychologically, mentally but we demanded everything from them.It's now that I have come to understand what my parents went through.
The following are the ways a parent can be responsible in the family.
1. Be loving .
Each parent is supposed to have love paternal love or maternal love(storge love) towards children. This kind of love is natural because there's no force that applies. The parents ought to express their love despite the situations (in terms of behaviours of their child). Children may develop unwanted behaviour but parents would not disown them but instead they would give advise and correct them in a patently way without any partiality.
If you show love to your children they will always grow to know to love others. Some parents also they love too much their kids that even if they make a mistake,they don't even correct or punish them. They instead try to be lenient and thus children no longer respect them.
The husband and wife also need to show affection love. They should try to cherish each by making sure that the love they had from the past should exist. I know when children starts to arrive or when they are born,the parents start to deviate their love towards them and forget to show the partner love. They give full attention to children,for example a nursing mother sometimes finds no time to fulfill all the obligations to her husband because her mind and time is all about how to take care of the child. When it comes to this situation, I think the husband should try to understand and instead chip in to help her not to develop postpartum depression. I think if you help her then she will be a happy wife and there will be a happy family.
How does love affect the family?
- It helps members to have the spirit of togetherness.
- It makes members to develop self esteem
- Love makes members to know how to treat others equally.
- Family love makes members to solve family conflicts easily without any partiality.
- Through love children develop secure attachment from their parents.
- Love makes family members to develop good communication skills.
2.Time manager
A good time manager controls everything that is well planned. A parent should always ensure that he/she should try to do things on time. If it is time to eat, try to prepare the meals earlier so that the kids can sleep early and wake up fresh in the morning. If you are taking kids to school , remember to keep time so that they will catch up with others in class.
For teens make sure that you set clear rules on what time they should be at home. If you allow the teenagers not to observe the stipulated time you have set,am sure they will do unnecessary and develop unwanted behaviours that will lead to early pregnancies and drug abuse.
Parents who are good time keepers ,they are always productive and value things that matters alot.
3.Set clear rules and boundaries.
A responsible parent should set clear rules and boundaries that should be adhered to. The kids if they know that you have clear rules,am sure they will always be obedient,good time keepers, resilient and even hardworking.
A family where parents don't set clear rules and boundaries,the family breaks. Children no longer respect the elders,their parents and even their siblings. If a child knows that if he/goes against the rules,will be punished or suffer consequences,thus creating good rapport.
Establishing clear and consistent boundaries is essential in raising a responsible child. Boundaries provide a framework for behavior and teach children about responsibility and accountability. Clearly communicate your expectations and consequences, ensuring they are fair and age-appropriate. By setting boundaries, you help your child develop self-discipline and make informed decisions.
4.Effective Communication
Good parenthood should always have clear, strong and effective communication to the members of the family. A parent that who usually communicates whenever there's a problem in the house,makes the problem to be less burdened. If a child has done any mistake,just sit together with him/her , communicate effectively in a polite way and if possible apply punishment and I am sure if you use the rightful communication the child will see his/her mistake and she will change.
You should not shout at the top of your voice,calling all mannerless or abusive words that make your children to despair in life. Whatever comes from your mouth should give great hope in life.
You should encourage open dialogue by actively listening to your child without judgment or interruption. If you create opportunities for meaningful conversation,it makes children to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, concerns, and dreams. By fostering open communication, you build a strong foundation of trust and understanding.
Your words from your mouth should not be abusive,provoking, discouraging instead they should have a positive impact to your children. Try as much as possible to use words that are engaging and building strong relationship. The power of the tongue is powerful.
Effective communication creates strong parent-child relationship.
How to develop effective communication
- Be clear and concise. You should try to have clarity and short when communicating. Set your rules clear that are easily understood. You should not be complicated even your kids can't understand you.
- Guard your tone. Always remember to keep your tone low,and it should be friendly. Don't yell with voice that even scare your kids. A low tone that's welcoming make the kids to open up and even tell you what they are going through. But if you reprimand and rebuke them they will develop fear and even be discouraged.
- Be mindful about nonverbal communication. Your facial expressions, gestures,tone should not show arrogance. You should always smile, don't throws hands reckless or your tone shouldn't be too high.
- Practice listening skills. You must possess listening skills whenever you have the conversation with your family members. Give your kids time to talk and express themselves. Never should you shut them whenever they are trying to tell you something. Maybe they would be having a problem or a secret they want to tell you . When they call you don't be futile ,but sit down with them and give them a listening hear until they finish their statements and then you react on them one by one.
5.A role model
A good parent should show good morals and lead by example. In whatever you do,you say or speak should be positive. There are parents who take alcohol, smoke ,abuse using obscene language and they expect their children to grow well mannered. They don't care about how that affects them physically, mentally, socially or psychologically.
A good parenthood should not discourage but give life and educate the family members. They should instill good behaviours and morals to kids. You should show them how to be appreciative,forgiving, loving,caring and even hardworking. They should learn all these characteristics from you through your deeds.
6.Flexible and ready to change.
Parents are supposed to be flexible and ready to change. Even if you have set clear and strict rules, sometimes they make children to be more rude. Look for example where the child is almost beaten or punished everyday because he/she repeats the same mistakes. The discipline because a normal routine and the child is used to it. He sees or knows that even I change or don't change the trend is the same.
When it reaches a situation where the kids doesn't change the behavior,just try to adjust your way of discipline. Create or loosen your way of punishing,you can either try to look for counsellors or try to talk to them nicely and am sure they will definitely change.
7.Good leadership.
You should possess or be a leader in your home. Leadership doesn't only apply in workplace,but also everywhere. In your house you should offer help to your kids in terms of showing them how to do certain things in the house. Help children to know how to cook, to wash clothes, gardening and others. If you do this they will grow to know and become responsible.
Secondly, you should be supportive and encouraging. A responsible parent should show support in whatever members of the family do. Keep on encouraging them and giving morale to them. You should not discourage your kid if he/she doesn't achieve certain goals in life. Talk to them and tell them they can,and they can do all things through Christ who strengthens them.
Thirdly, always give praises to your kids. If a children has done well in class,she has known to do certain activities like preparing meals, wearing clothes,even when they make steps when trying to walk,crawling just praise them. If you keep on appreciating them ,they will know that they are doing right things and they will keep pressing on.
Fourthly, you should show emphaty and give credits where it deserves. Don't ever show sympathy to your children instead you should be in their shoes and encourage them. Because if you show sympathy they will no longer be able to defend or overcome challenges. Give credits in terms of buying them presents,and this will make them work harder.
Fifth, you should have good communication skills. A responsible parent should communicate effectively and in away that doesn't show condemination,hunger,brutality or any sign of hatred. Talk nicely to your kids ,use appropriate time, don't shout at them. On the other hand, you should not be that lenient to your children. Be a good commander.
8.Problem solver.
Problems are part and parcel of life. You can't escape any problem unless you are a rock. Even rocks they do crack sometimes or they are being destroyed by human activities. When it comes to problem we should always be ready to make good decisions that should eliminate that trouble in our family. We should not be quick to react to the problem ,but we should apply wisdom and knowledge when solving problems. A good parent should always be ready to face the problems and should have good problematic skills.
What to consider before solving the problem.
Identify the problem.
You should always try to identify what type of problem you need to solve. If the children have done a mistake, you should first listen to both sides of the coin ,and never should you rely on one side.
Configure what caused the problem?
How and when did it happen?
What could be the root cause?
If you apply to these questions then you should get a clear solution.
Identify the root cause
If you had identified the problem, definitely you should know the root cause. Look keenly what made the kids to face the problem.
How did it happen ,at what time?
The cause would be ,if they are having malaria in the house ,you should ensure that they sleep inside the mosquito net and spray your house and compound. Probably you have known the root cause.
If it's in school they aren't performing well, try to get into the bottom of it,either asking first the kids,then call the teacher ,if they don't change ,try to make a visit to school and talk to the teacher plus the child and the teacher will clarify to you.
Find the possible solution
Although you have a solution, you should choose a better solution from the multiple solutions. Sometimes you may apply many solutions if the problem persist. Even when a teacher is teaching a new concept and finds that learners are not understanding it easily, he/she has to apply different teaching approach for them to understand.
As a responsible parent you should try to use various approach in order to give room to solve the problem.
Plan and implement your solution.
You should always try to take your time and have a long lasting solution. Make sure you apply your knowledge carefully and make sure you adhere to it. Don't use a solution that will not become a bill in your house.
You can implement the solution of the problem through the following:
*Guidance and counselling
*Mediation. Use of religious leaders or elders in the community to solve the problem.
*Force. That should involve peace keeping mission in the house. A parent should not apply too much force that would lead to disagreement.
Measure the results
Remember to make up follow-up activities ,whether the solutions you applied they gave the good results. Keep on monitoring if it's the behavior of a child whether he/she has changed drastically or partially,then from that you should know what to change.
If you keep on checking or weighing the solutions , definitely you will know how your responsibility has worked.
The solution should be the one that provides a long-term permanent solution to the problem.
Conclusion
Be a responsible parent that has good communication skills,time manager,a parent that knows how to solve problems,a parent that loves his/her children equally and provides all basic needs.
Being responsible yields good parent-children relationship, children-children relationship and the family will grow together as one
