6 Factors promoting good relationship in the family

 

Most of the  families are living far and even meeting each other is a problem.  Due to modernity and economic problems, everyone is on his /her toes , moving up and down to see what the family will eat. 

Most of the families nowdays are not in good relationship to each other. They are not staying together as our great great grandparents did. The strong bondage that existed has become extinct and family gatherings are no longer conducted. It has become the world of various countries in it,that each country is struggling to regain her economy. This applies tho our homes today ,that everyone is in his/her toes or struggling to gain independence from the colonists.

Most of the family members are ever busy and due to poor economy, it has made them not to bother other families. People have migrated or rather have thrown away the responsibility of taking care 9f their fellow family members. They no longer communicate ,visit, perform ceremonies thus leading to breakage of family relation. 

You can refer to 8 Factors affecting family relation.

The following are the factors that can create,promote bondage or good family relation

1.Communication

Whenever, when there's good communication in every situation , that's the problem solver in any condition. Think of a situation where  there's no communication on the people who are living in the same house,in the same bedroom,the same bed or same apartment. What would be the consequences?. I think it would be a horrible place that one would not wish to stay or to live in.

Whenever people aren't living together,they should develop the heart of calling or communicating each other. Members of the family who aren't staying together,living much far,or others who are working or studying abroad,they should at least spare time to say hi to their fellow family members. 

Take a case whereby the father or the mother isn't staying together with the children almost 2 years,what would the children think of their parents? The children will eventually loose the direct child -parent love , because they no longer communicate or trust him /her as their parent.

A responsible parent should always try to communicate to the family no matter how you are committed. Try even to video call,zoom,Skype so that children can know you by face and they will feel comfortable when talking .

In extended family ,the members will also try to call each other to know the well being of others,how they wake in the morning,how their day ended,their health and other social factors affecting them. Most of the family members have neglected others because they prefer to be concerned about their intermediate members. If for example you call a sick person and you give him just hope that she/he will get well soon ,only those words can create good relationship and the person can always be appreciative.

Don't wait until something bad happens, that's when you remember that you had a relative. Just call in good and bad times to create strong bondage.

What type of communication to use?

You can use the calls through the phones,video calls on WhatsApp, Facebook, Skype,zoom and other gadgets.

How and when will you communicate?

You should always try to calendar yourself and communicate with your members,even if after one day,two days or every week if you are working or living abroad.

2 .Visitation.

Visitation is very important among family members. Most of the family members due to poor economy, family conflicts, despising each other,and other factors,it has cut short the visitation that our forefathers had. 

You find some of the family members ,they don't know each other since childhood. They can even pass by without noticing or recognizing one another. Most of the family members have divide and rule plus the cold war among themselves. They don't even allow their children to play with other children from the other family. Because the parents had a disagreement or a fight, they recommend their children not to go near or in any case they don't school together,because they believe in witchcraft.

The visitation which was long ago ,it has elapsed. I remember when I was young we could visit our cousins during the long holidays. We could enjoy playing together, eating together, sleeping ,going to church together and we could even tell others how best our village or school is. But nowdays, it's along story. 

Most of the paying a visit has become "hot Air".Where things are no longer working and become precipitated. Some families had the schedule of visiting each other monthly.

When it comes to visiting, the family members can know each other and can develop strong relationship. 

The following are importance of visitation.

• It provides an opportunity to stay in touch with other family members
• It help members to express their emotions.
• It helps people to discover the failures and weakness of others and try to advise them.
• It fosters family -family good relationships.
• It provides an opportunity to refresh and enjoy together as family members.

How often do you visit each other?

It may be monthly,annually or the family members can decide.

Can visitation bring any change among the family members?

Yes, because through visitation members can know each other and they can develop a strong family relationship.

3. Gathering in ceremony

When members of the family meet together, celebrate and hang out ,it really creates good family relationship. Most of the families gather together in a manner that they intend to know each other. When I was young ,I saw in our family we used to gather together either in December and we will slaughter a goat and we would share and enjoy together. All the family members from my mother's side would come even if they lived in urban areas. They would make sure that they attend the ceremony and nobody compromised.

Nowdays there are no more gatherings,because of the modernity. Some people are ever busy either in terms of jobs, schooling,staying far away from other family members (abroad) which makes the family members not to meet.

Some family members have opted not to gather or visit each during the long holidays like December to visit even their grandparents, cousins,aunties and uncles. I think if we live like in the old days the family gatherings will be more valuable to the family members.

Despite of the economy ,the education,living in towns or abroad or any conflicts among the family members, gatherings shouldn't be exceptional. Family members will sit down together and they will discuss various issues that would and develop the firm relationship

4 . Having chamas,self help group

Members in the family are supposed to have self-help groups, "chamas" that would enhance the family relationship. For example if they do merry go round and this can be done through online, physical and members can organise to visit each other in their homes.

The self help groups have always maintained the good family relationship. The members contribute the money and they decide on what to do with the money and this can make a person von toes to confirm from others ,thus good relation.

5 .Team work

Members who have good team for example when bereavement comes or in other functions maybe in times of sicknesses and sorrow it creates good family relationship.

Participating in providing moral support during sorrow, makes somebody to feel comforted. Or if one of the family member has a ceremony like a wedding, paying of dowry,lacks school fees or any other problem,members are supposed to chip in and stretch their helping hand.

6. Appreciation

Members in the family should try to appreciate each other . Whenever a person does good either in helping , academics,talents and any other good performance. If we appreciate each other moreso kids it will make them to be active and try to work hard thus promoting positive impacts in life.

Through all these we find the importance of good family relationship.

• It helps the family to resolve family conflicts easily.
• It helps people to express their feelings,emotions easily.
• It creates team work,good communication and appreciation.
• It makes persons to develop positive attitudes towards each other.

In conclusion , for good relationship can be of great importance if only members can have good team work , communication, gatherings and ceremonies that would bring people together.

If you find this article to be of great importance, please don't forget to comment,share or you can add more points on how to promote family relationship.

6 Ways to Get People to Respect You (Avoid Being Taken Advantage Of)

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Do you often find yourself being taken advantage of?Perhaps you're often talked down to and treated as less than.

Sometimes people can be harsh and judgmental.And you may feel as if they don't hold any respect for you.

It's not always nice to hang around those who don't value you.So, if given the chance,it may be best to simply walk away,and say good riddance.

But, if you find you're always being subtly treated this way maybe you'd like to adopt some behaviors to gain respect.

You can still be you.You just simply respect yourself enough,to not let others walk all over you.Sound like a plan?

Okay.

Here are six ways to get people to respect you.

Number one, Respect yourself first.

We should all learn to love ourselves.And in doing so,give us the respect we deserve.Often at times we can be too harsh on ourselves,and let our insecurities and dark thoughts take the lead.

But do away with them.With a little practice self-respect,you can be on your way to thinking higher of yourself and loving you in the process.

Many researchers, such as Herbert M. Lefcourt,state that having a sense of internal locus of control,over our own lives,is a key condition for our mental health.

Locus of control,refers to how much someone feels a sense of agency towards their life.

Someone with an internal locus of control believes the things that happened to them are strongly influenced by their own actions,abilities or mistakes.

• To practice self-respect,you must first allow yourself to say no,without feeling guilty.
• Prioritize what is important in your life.
• Protect yourself.
• And choose to keep only healthy relationships.It's key to not let others take advantage of you.
• And make sure you get what you pay for in life.

So if you're at an ice cream stand,and you paid for two scoops of ice cream,and only received one,instead of brushing it off,simply ask that you receive that extra chocolate scoop,and don't feel guilty about it.It's just ice cream, and you're hungry.

Your priority right now is to satisfy your appetite.And guess what?Ice cream is the way.Two scoops please.

Furthermore, it's important to knowyou can create your own happiness,not just others.

This is a form of self-respect as well.So go ahead and enjoy those two scoops.You respect yourself too much to not appreciate themand you.

Number two. Set clear boundaries.

It's important to set boundaries for ourselves and others.

Let's say your friend often comes over to your housefor movie night.You love and care for your friend.But they aren't the most respectful guests.

1. They put their feet up on your coffee table.
2. They bring their dog fleas over.
3. They eat most of your food
4. They leave Cheeto Puff remainson your furniture, everywhere.

Do they respect you?It doesn't look like it.

A good step would be to set some boundaries for when company comes over.And discuss them with your dear friend.You can be kind when discussing this with them and consider their point of view as well.

But it's your home,and it's ultimately your rules.So tell them they can't keep scavenging through your fridge.Fleas must be on a leash,and to keep their cheese-filled hands to themselves.Not on the furniture.And pause off the table, fleas.

Number three,

Understand you don't have to be nice all the time.

Who wouldn't wanna be nice when they want to?But when you feel like you have to,at the expense of your own happiness,it's not a good idea.

Sadly, a lot of people think,they can take advantage of those who are kind to them.

This doesn't mean you have to stop being a good person.Just simply know when you must put yourself first,and also don't feel guilty about it all the time.

You may think that if you don't do every favor your friend asks of you,they might not like you anymore.

But what kind of friend is that?You may feel guilty if you don't accept your friend's invitation to hang out every time.But you just got snuggled into a bubble bath.

You just like to be alone tonight.Perhaps you don't allow yourself to not smile.So you throw on a contrived smile before you go out the door,even when you're having a bad day,as great as smiling feels.

A forced smile can't always make you feel better.Allow yourself to admit you're having a bad day.

You don't need to be in a certain mood for anyone.Allowing unnecessary guilt to take control can leave you associating these one's happy actions with something forced and uncomfortable.

Practice assuring yourself,that if you allow yourself,the guilt free time to relax first,you'll only feel happier when the time comes to hang out with your friend next.

Number four. Speak up

Many of us often have shy personalities.So doing all the talking during a group conversation may not be our thing.

But just because you're shy,doesn't mean you should let others interrupt you.If others often interrupt you,or appear as if they aren't listening,there's some tricks you can use to make yourself heard.

First, try saying the name of the person you're speaking to mid conversation.

Similar to the cocktail party effect,we will often have our attention pulled back to reality when our names are heard.

Such as when we're at a cocktail party and here our name in the distance.You know how your music teacher would always say your name mid sentence to regain your attention?We're doing the same thing here.

Another trick is to often use hand gestures,and give an equal amount of eye contact to everyone.Using hand gestures grabs attention,and strongly conveys your message.

Eye contact.If someone was looking into the depths of your soul,you'd be bound to notice.Just make sure you give everyone,equal amounts of eye contact.Maybe no soul staring today.

Number five. Don't over-apologize.

Do you often find yourself apologizing for something that wasn't even your fault?It may just become habit to say, sorry when something goes wrong.You may only wanna say it to not be unkind.

But your words should carry weight,especially in apology.If you apologize too often,your sorry maybe viewed as nothing to others who hear it too often.

And unfortunately,over-apologizing can be a sign to others that you are submissive.Sooner or later, they'll assume,you'll be the one to take the blame.Or that you're too nice to speak up if they walk all over you.

Some common things we unnecessarily apologize for.If you don't wanna do a favor, don't apologize.

-It's a favor.

-If you have an opposing opinion,agree to disagree.

It's your opinion.Stand by it.

*Remember, you don't have to be unkind.Say sorry, when sorry is do.

But be conscious of how often and how unnecessarily you do say it.

Number six,

Display confident body language.

Confidence is key.And that's what people often say.And it can be very true most times.

If you want to command respect,a good way is to let your body language show,that you can't be pushed around.

Quite literally too.

Strong stance and good posture won't send you toppling over if bumped into.So, use good posture and stand up tall,make good eye contact when listening and speaking.

Crossing our arms is often seem as defensive.So it's best to relax them by your side.

Carry your head high and eyes forward,instead of looking to the ground.Observe the scene at a party,don't be afraid to people watch.And it's a party after all.

And remember those hand gestures,continue to use them while speaking.And you'll be as confident and respected as an international leader.

So, do you often feel disrespected?

Will you use these tips?

Do you say sorry, often?

Let me know about a time where you felt disrespected.

Which tips would you use to command the respect of others?

Share with  in the comments below.

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