How to cope with toxic persons.

 

Have you come across with toxic persons whether at your house,working places,churches, markets,malls ,at school and other places. How to you handle these persons so that you can fit in the same basket. 

Some people may be annoying until you feel like leaving them and decide to stay alone. But unfortunately, you won't leave them or relocate because they are their to stay.

Maybe they are immediate family members,workmates,fellow worshippers,and you must join hands or work together. 

The following are tips on how to cope with toxic persons

1.Just accommodate them

By accommodating them you will live peacefully. What do I mean ? Just know that willing to fit in with someone's wishes or needs.

But I don't advice you to fit to some wishes and needs which are against your laws or which are vices. Instead talk to them and talk to them politely and even if they insult you, just accept and move on. I think they will realize that your silence means a lot and this will give them a challenge to change their behaviour.

2. Be silent

Don't ever argue with toxic person, because if you do you will be embrassed and have low esteem.

Whenever they start a quarrel or an augment,just pretend that you didn't hear what they are talking. Just assume them. These people when they start arguing they are like remote controller. They can align you, change the contrast, change the station until you get confused on what to watch. 

Some insult may be so hurtful but never ever try to exchange words with madmen in the market because they will strip you naked. Swallow your anger and remind yourself that be quick to listen and don't be quick to talk, because not every word you talk when in a disagreement can be a blessing.

The more you try to argue with them , the .ore energy and words you give them. So being silent means a lot to you,it will make the person even to discover that he/ she is doing wrong to you.

3. Be optimistic

Some people may be unacceptable to you,either by discouraging you on any progress you make in life. They want to tear you down and make your life miserable. Let them not make  you to quit your job, but let their insult be a changing gear in your life. They will borrow your hardworking and they will eventually leave you.

4. Be mindful

Always mind on you lane and don't ever try to criss cross their lane. Try to do what's right and prove them wrong. The toxic people are narcissistic. They won't let you talk, make decisions or do anything that make progress. If you talk them and they refuse to change just mind your business and they will eventually quit.

5. Be tolerant 

Just each time you face your toxic boss or husband or wife try to be tolerant. Some bosses can be nuisance and unacceptable and even make you to look for a different job, because their motive is just to misuse the employees and they don't care. They always see that they are everything and nobody can question them . If they say it's this way it that they can't turn back or give a reverse to any decision.

Be tolerant to them and know that their time will reach and they will leave that office. Always try to  remind them that there used to be kings and queens and eventually they retired.

6. Be a mentor

Try to give them a motivating guidance if possible that can help them to change their toxic habits and behavior. Don't shy off whenever you find a chance to talk to them . I know it will be difficult to talk to persons who know that they know everything and nobody who can try to give advice or change whatever they have decided. 

Your commitment to your mentorship can lead and move mountains, because they can borrow your words and act accordingly.

Some family members can't allow you to talk in front of them and listen your nonsense and accommodate it in their life. They will degrade you ,abuse you,ruin you even try to destroy your marriage,but don't give up face them and say the truth and they will know your stand.

If it's your child who  doesn't want to listen in whatever you tell him/her,just keep on pressing on and she will eventually come to her senses and she will change and become a good person in the society.

If you have any tips on how to cope with toxic people, you are free to add under comment section. 

Don't forget to share,comment because if you share it will help someone out there.

How to be a good/stunning mother/ parent.

Have you ever wondered , how you are supposed to be  a good mother to your kids. Take a case your are a new parent to your family and you don't know where to start from ? The following are guidelines on how to be a good mother or  parent

Be always optimistic

Always try to have a positive set mind that you are going to make it through in parenting. 

I know being a newbie in parenthood,it sometimes hectic and tiresome. Having a  well focussed minds idea and always trying to discover news things , is the only way to overcome challenges in your motherhood.

Be reliable

A good mother should always be reliable to the family members. Being present will increase the trustworthy and everyone including your children will put trust in you.

They will not have any doubt in you and they will forever rely on you,because you will offer protection and any solution to their problems.

Be self dependent

Always try to depend on yourself. Trusting yourself leads to independent and a strong woman.  Sometimes try to try new things and new ideas in your parenting, thus making you to become a successful and a hard-working woman in the house.

Always try to look on ways to provide the basic needs to your family. Don't always depend on your husband,to bring everything to the house. Sometimes you can go for Hire to do jobs like washing clothes, digging for others if you are a staying home mother. These can generate income and you will ease up the burden of hunger in your family.

Be ready to help out

Always be ready to help others out: If you see someone who needs help, don’t hesitate or ignore them and make sure to reach out to them either directly or indirectly. Be ready to help your kids to grow in a moral way. Don't always leave your family members to suffer. If you have the potential in extending the hand either financially or verbally, just do it. 

 Helping the unfortunate in the family makes and creates good relationships with other family member.

Let them lean on you and assure them that you will be able to help them somehow. That will make you more approachable and trustworthy.

Be ready to learn out

Have the mentality to improve. Be ready to learn and improve your skills and attitudes. Try to read from other women and sometimes seek guidance from elder mothers.

Be honest and faithful.

Being honest and truthful makes your family to gain respect for you. Always stick to your parenting and never ignore any tasks that comes in the way. Always remember to trust the process of taking care of your family members and never have partiality in up bringing your children. Learn to love them all.

Be present: Sometimes, you just have to be present and available to people, nothing else is needed in most circumstances. Whether it’s a grieving friend, a tired colleague, an unhappy lover, just being by there and being available is very important

Factors That Affect Productivity

There are many barriers to productivity in the workplace. The following are the factors that limit your productivity.

1. Lack of Sleep

Lack of enough sleeping makes your productivity to be disturbed. Your mind needs to have a rest so that it can contemplate on various activities.

According to Dr Bea"Our brains are like sponges,"They can only soak up so much information before they're saturated,then they have to dry out  a bit.

Not sleeping enough is one of the worst things you can do for your productivity. Your brain needs sleep to function properly. When you’re tired, it’s harder to concentrate. It also slows you down leading to more work time being put in than necessary.

When you don't allow your mind to rest,you get dizziness, confusion, headache, thinking more slowly than usual,you forget everything and end up messing everything.

Sleeping more and better can save you time and increase your productivity.

2.Perfectionism

I am not indulging you not to be perfect in whatever you are doing, but sometimes you should allow imperfect to take a certain percentage.

In fact, when performed excessively, perfectionistic behavior can have an affect that is opposite of what the person intended. Perfectionists are more likely to experience decreased productivity, impaired health, troubled interpersonal relationships, and low self-esteem. 

Perfectionists are affected and  can lead to depression, anxiety,impatience, suicidal thoughts ,if what they did and thought that they have done to their best of level and end up getting negative results.

3. Not Planning Ahead of Time

Lack of proper planning can lead to delay of certain activities. If you fail to plan you fail to perform. It helps you to be more effective and more productive.

Being well organized and developing effective plans also allows you to achieve important goals and objectives.

Not planning ahead of time leaves you vulnerable to acting on what feels good in the moment. When you plan ahead of time, you’re being intentional about your choices and actions. You’re deciding from your prefrontal cortex — the part of your brain that has goals and can make plans for them.

Planning ahead of time also enables you to anticipate potential obstacles that may arise.

4. Multitasking

Doing two or more things at the same time, it reduces task performance. For example you can't drive while chatting,the performance of reaching your designated station may collude because you may cause accident.

So if you want your productivity to be high just do one task at time. This is important because your all concentration will be highly applied to that task and you will yield highly.

 5. Work Environment

 A Good working environment leads to good relationships among the employer and employees or even employees themselves.

As you can imagine, no one enjoys working in a negative or toxic environment. Make sure to create a workplace atmosphere that is based on your company's values, where your employees feel supported, valued, and safe.

Remember to be honest and faithful to your work, appreciate your employees when they deserve it. Give your employees all rights that pertains to employee code of conduct. Mistreatment of workers can lead to poor productivity.

Always ensure you provide and give credits where necessary.  A busive or unconducive, malicious or barbaric environment ,discouraged the workers thus making the yield to deteriorate.

6 . Training & Career Development Opportunities

Career progression is the most important key for every worker. Through career development, an employee can learn new skills and experiences that can make him/ her to achieve higher goals in life thus higher productivit

If you don't have a training program yet, it might be time for you to develop one. An untrained employee would not know what they need to do or how to do it more efficiently, which can negatively affect productivity.

You can facilitate the training programs by microlearning and employee training each other. Allowing your employees once every three years to go for career progression can  increase your workability at your company thus competition among the employees.

Ensure that you promote them and don't allow your employee to be stagnant in a certain position for more years. If  an employee stays for example 15 years in same position he/ she can't have the urge to work harder because she knows nobody can compete with her.

7. Disorganization and Clutter

 A disorganized and untidy place can lead to less productivity. When your employees and yourself both of are well organized there will be no more commotion and collusion in the work.

A well organized person who arranges his her things in order,helps or leads to time management. Because if your don't put all your necessities in order, you may take a lot of time looking for them, thus concentration in work reduces.

8. Overworking 

Too much of something is poisonous. When you overwork yourself the mind gets tired and leafs to no more thinking. You need to have time to rest so that you can develop a good productivity.

Overworking your employees may lead to presenteeism where a worker does the work under pressure.He/she may be present but she doesn't work. It also makes them to have less time to meet their families, friends, creating feeling of isolation. Thus leading to to stress and health problems.

After a certain point of working, you stop seeing increased return for your time and energy. This is because The Law of Diminishing Returns applies to human productivity. Not only do we see diminishing returns, but we eventually see negative returns meaning that you decrease your overall output from overworking.

Overworking can deceive you to see positive productivity,but at the end you end up diminishing your productivity and energy which can lead to burn out.

9. Too Many Choices

Taking or indulging yourself in too many choices can lead to lack of proper productivity.

Just take small choices that are easier to manage and well organized.  For example you should stick to some activities and make sure you finish first then you move to another one.

Too many choices have negative consequences that result to poor yield and productivity.

10. Distractions

Distractions are probably the biggest killer for productivity. For example if you are stay at home mum,working online. If you have distractions let say from kids your output may not be appeasing.

 Try to limit your distractions at all levels and this would help you to finish the projects you had started and thus having easier time.