Most of the families have lost the direction and diverted into a lot of issues that have created a bigger gap in the family.
Most of the family members have sorted to various activities in terms of providing for the family. They don't even seem to care about the fellow members in the house. They have switched their roles to other people instead of themselves doing their responsibility.
In our modern society , it has become like struggle for the fittest in the house. Meaning that , each and every should mind his or her own business not of others. Many parents have been taken by various factors even they don't even know that they have children to look after. They have numerous reasons not to be at home at the right time and have handed the responsibility to nannies.
The following are various factors that that hindered bondage in the family.
1. Communication
Nowdays there are no one on one communication. Before then our great grandparents had a good way of talking to each other. Let's say a problem has risen among the couples, instead of sitting together and talk about the problem and it's solution,they cut off communication. You find others they don't even talk to each other when a problem comes. Some even don't eat because he/ she wronged you. Instead of sleeping in the same bed room you sort to sleep on the couch or in a different bedroom, to avoid seeing beach other.
A good family is the that sits together and talk friendly to one another. Causing tantrums and commotion in the house doesn't make you a hero, it makes you to create more problems in the house. If it's the child who has done wrong, discipline him/her politely ,try to explain why or how it's bad to do that mistake and it's consequences. Definitely a child will understand and change his behaviors.
Don't be rush to rebuke the kid,just try to to talk friendly to him/her and I think this one will solve everything. Children needs someone who counsels them and who embraces or instills good attitude to them .
On the side of the parents, fighting or quarrelling the whole night, refusing to eat or not providing for the family isn't a solution just sit down and talk. Or you can have a day out or night out ,you go there and discuss the issue and solve the problem. I think communication is all the master solver for all problems.
2. The screen
When it comes to screen,there are alot of things to talk about. Due to modernity many family members have sorted to engage themselves on the screens.
Mobile phones. This includes iPad ,tablets and other gadgets. Imagine walking in in a family and you find the mother is on the phone, the father is on the laptop and children are watching cartoons and nobody seems to care each other. You will even find yourself talking to yourself. You try to engage them in a talk ,but none seems to bother.
The children will be hungry because the mum will be watching tiktok, Instagrams, Facebook Whatsapp chatting with somebody until she forgets to prepare meals for the family. The child will be having a good message to pass to the parent , but because the mother is preparing some live videos on Facebook, tiktok linked , Whatsapp status she doesn't care about the children. You would find the child has soiled her clothes and she even starts to smear it on the floor and the mother even has not noticed of not aware what's happening in the house.
The kids had been given homework and they are supposed to seek help from the parents .When the children approaches the father, he sends them back not showing any fatherly love to the kid. Because he is busy chatting and looking on status on how young ladies are shaking their boobs and buttocks,and talking to side chics,his mind is altered and doesn't reason beyond that.
The teens have also been mislead by the social media. They no longer do or help their parents in the house. They are always on the internet downloading love songs, chatting with their boy friends and girlfriends, making videos on tiktok, Instagrams, Whatsapp status others if not carefully monitored would be watching pornographic. If a parent needed something and tries to call one of the teens , he would be deceiving herself , because there will be no response from them.
The children when it comes to watching cartoons, it's like their meal. Even you you try to tell them to eat first ,they will not until you switch off the TV and you be on their neck so that they can take their meals. You find them in school talking of a certain program and other children are busy commenting, so this gives them the psyche to watch on the programs on the TV. They even forget to do their homework, helping their parents and they seems not to care at all.
Unless we cut of spending much time on screen, then our families are doomed and we can't have good -children relationship in our homes.
3. Time
Most of the parents don't have time for their families. You find a parent goes for work from 4am and returns home at 10pm when everyone in the house is a sleep. She or he doesn't know how the children slept, what they ate,how they did their assignment and about their health. The children see him/ her only on weekends probably when they go to church or when the parent is having the offs.
All the responsibility have be delighted to the nannies. Most of this nannies they don't have the knowledge on parenting and they can teach the children,all kinds of behaviours that are vice in the society. Imagine a mother who is breastfeeding comes home at 10pm and finds the kid is a sleep and the kid doesn't have enough time to breastfeed.
4.Work
Work has killed the togetherness in the family. Most of the parents have put more energy and time on work forgetting their counterparts children. They spend whole day working and he/she doesn't have space to communicate to their children. I don't discourage parents not to search for jobs or to have self employment,but they should try to have a parenthood in them. Sometimes work should not be our first priority in life. Let the family come first and the rest follows.
Imagine a parent or the family members who are always on toes going for work from morning to evening, coming home is late even you don't know your neighbours. They maybe knowing you, and when you meet on the street you don't greet them, they will even say that you no longer recognize people and in the really sense you don't know them.
Just try to have family meeting with your family when you have a day off ,to discover what is happening to your kids or other family members
Some people are assuming that, everyone understands that am busy and I don't have time for family gatherings. Forgetting that,people do commit their own time and space ,so that they can create good rapport in the family.
5. Separation
Most of the parents nowdays they prefer separation, which makes members of the family not to be together. You may find the father may decide to take his boy child and the wife takes the girls. Through this, the children may not have that bondness in the as a brother and sister.
Sometimes,a husband and wife can separate and the wife takes the children and children would not have that fatherly love. Maybe there would be a problem in the family, but we should sometimes try to figure out about the children. Children can loose trust to those parents , because they no longer recognize them as their guardians.
The children in both sides develop weird behavior, because they are being brought in different environment this triggering good character. They maybe talking through the phone, but it doesn't mean that they will have that stronger love among the family members. Children will not even know their cousins, aunties and uncles plus their grandparents.
6. Divorce
Most of the family members have preferred to have divorce and they no longer want to live together. Through this ,the family relationship has became like a foregone folktale.
The good relationship that existed between the two families, has become no longer in existence. You find the wife and husband, each one wants to go with the kids and the court has to intervene and decide where the children will stay until they reach at a certain age.
7.Rural-urban migration.
Most of the families have gone or migrated to town in search of green pastures. Others are living in towns because they have been posted there to work thus limiting them to have good relationship with other family members.
Preferably,others have decided to move to other places to avoid conflicts,others believe in witchcraft that if they stay at home, the people in the village will not feel good for them because they are wealth. Others have been chased or excommunicated from the community because they did some vices that aren't accepted by the community.
Through this, it has led to breakage of family bondage. Even if the problem arises at rural home ,they aren't ready to help or be together with other family members. Even when the funeral arises, the persons in charge are those near the family, but those living in urban ,they seem not to care.
8.Going abroad
Most of the family haven't have good relationship with their members, because of long distance relationship. You find the father or the mother has been blessed and has gone to a broad in terms of further studies, scholarship, Green cards,or jobs. A person takes almost 2 years or one year before he/she comes back to his country, thus limiting strong relationship. A child may grew or be born without seeing his father,because the father had gone a broad.
It makes children to be raised by one parent which kills the morale of bondage and trustfulness among the members.
In family relationship it's good to ensure that you video call , you can call or try to visit every mother or after two week even you are living in urban areas. Those in a broad try as much as possible not to exceed two years or if possible you can visit yearly.
I request you to share my article, comment it add other factors affecting family relation.
