6 Factors promoting good relationship in the family

 

Most of the  families are living far and even meeting each other is a problem.  Due to modernity and economic problems, everyone is on his /her toes , moving up and down to see what the family will eat. 

Most of the families nowdays are not in good relationship to each other. They are not staying together as our great great grandparents did. The strong bondage that existed has become extinct and family gatherings are no longer conducted. It has become the world of various countries in it,that each country is struggling to regain her economy. This applies tho our homes today ,that everyone is in his/her toes or struggling to gain independence from the colonists.

Most of the family members are ever busy and due to poor economy, it has made them not to bother other families. People have migrated or rather have thrown away the responsibility of taking care 9f their fellow family members. They no longer communicate ,visit, perform ceremonies thus leading to breakage of family relation. 

You can refer to 8 Factors affecting family relation.

The following are the factors that can create,promote bondage or good family relation

1.Communication

Whenever, when there's good communication in every situation , that's the problem solver in any condition. Think of a situation where  there's no communication on the people who are living in the same house,in the same bedroom,the same bed or same apartment. What would be the consequences?. I think it would be a horrible place that one would not wish to stay or to live in.

Whenever people aren't living together,they should develop the heart of calling or communicating each other. Members of the family who aren't staying together,living much far,or others who are working or studying abroad,they should at least spare time to say hi to their fellow family members. 

Take a case whereby the father or the mother isn't staying together with the children almost 2 years,what would the children think of their parents? The children will eventually loose the direct child -parent love , because they no longer communicate or trust him /her as their parent.

A responsible parent should always try to communicate to the family no matter how you are committed. Try even to video call,zoom,Skype so that children can know you by face and they will feel comfortable when talking .

In extended family ,the members will also try to call each other to know the well being of others,how they wake in the morning,how their day ended,their health and other social factors affecting them. Most of the family members have neglected others because they prefer to be concerned about their intermediate members. If for example you call a sick person and you give him just hope that she/he will get well soon ,only those words can create good relationship and the person can always be appreciative.

Don't wait until something bad happens, that's when you remember that you had a relative. Just call in good and bad times to create strong bondage.

What type of communication to use?

You can use the calls through the phones,video calls on WhatsApp, Facebook, Skype,zoom and other gadgets.

How and when will you communicate?

You should always try to calendar yourself and communicate with your members,even if after one day,two days or every week if you are working or living abroad.

2 .Visitation.

Visitation is very important among family members. Most of the family members due to poor economy, family conflicts, despising each other,and other factors,it has cut short the visitation that our forefathers had. 

You find some of the family members ,they don't know each other since childhood. They can even pass by without noticing or recognizing one another. Most of the family members have divide and rule plus the cold war among themselves. They don't even allow their children to play with other children from the other family. Because the parents had a disagreement or a fight, they recommend their children not to go near or in any case they don't school together,because they believe in witchcraft.

The visitation which was long ago ,it has elapsed. I remember when I was young we could visit our cousins during the long holidays. We could enjoy playing together, eating together, sleeping ,going to church together and we could even tell others how best our village or school is. But nowdays, it's along story. 

Most of the paying a visit has become "hot Air".Where things are no longer working and become precipitated. Some families had the schedule of visiting each other monthly.

When it comes to visiting, the family members can know each other and can develop strong relationship. 

The following are importance of visitation.

• It provides an opportunity to stay in touch with other family members
• It help members to express their emotions.
• It helps people to discover the failures and weakness of others and try to advise them.
• It fosters family -family good relationships.
• It provides an opportunity to refresh and enjoy together as family members.

How often do you visit each other?

It may be monthly,annually or the family members can decide.

Can visitation bring any change among the family members?

Yes, because through visitation members can know each other and they can develop a strong family relationship.

3. Gathering in ceremony

When members of the family meet together, celebrate and hang out ,it really creates good family relationship. Most of the families gather together in a manner that they intend to know each other. When I was young ,I saw in our family we used to gather together either in December and we will slaughter a goat and we would share and enjoy together. All the family members from my mother's side would come even if they lived in urban areas. They would make sure that they attend the ceremony and nobody compromised.

Nowdays there are no more gatherings,because of the modernity. Some people are ever busy either in terms of jobs, schooling,staying far away from other family members (abroad) which makes the family members not to meet.

Some family members have opted not to gather or visit each during the long holidays like December to visit even their grandparents, cousins,aunties and uncles. I think if we live like in the old days the family gatherings will be more valuable to the family members.

Despite of the economy ,the education,living in towns or abroad or any conflicts among the family members, gatherings shouldn't be exceptional. Family members will sit down together and they will discuss various issues that would and develop the firm relationship

4 . Having chamas,self help group

Members in the family are supposed to have self-help groups, "chamas" that would enhance the family relationship. For example if they do merry go round and this can be done through online, physical and members can organise to visit each other in their homes.

The self help groups have always maintained the good family relationship. The members contribute the money and they decide on what to do with the money and this can make a person von toes to confirm from others ,thus good relation.

5 .Team work

Members who have good team for example when bereavement comes or in other functions maybe in times of sicknesses and sorrow it creates good family relationship.

Participating in providing moral support during sorrow, makes somebody to feel comforted. Or if one of the family member has a ceremony like a wedding, paying of dowry,lacks school fees or any other problem,members are supposed to chip in and stretch their helping hand.

6. Appreciation

Members in the family should try to appreciate each other . Whenever a person does good either in helping , academics,talents and any other good performance. If we appreciate each other moreso kids it will make them to be active and try to work hard thus promoting positive impacts in life.

Through all these we find the importance of good family relationship.

• It helps the family to resolve family conflicts easily.
• It helps people to express their feelings,emotions easily.
• It creates team work,good communication and appreciation.
• It makes persons to develop positive attitudes towards each other.

In conclusion , for good relationship can be of great importance if only members can have good team work , communication, gatherings and ceremonies that would bring people together.

If you find this article to be of great importance, please don't forget to comment,share or you can add more points on how to promote family relationship.

8 Factors affecting good relations in the family.

Most of the families have lost the direction and diverted into a lot of issues that have created a bigger gap in the family. 

Most of the family members have sorted to various activities in terms of providing for the family. They don't even seem to care about the fellow members in the house. They have switched their roles to other people instead of themselves doing their responsibility. 

In our modern society , it has become like struggle for the fittest in the house. Meaning that , each and every should mind his or her own business not of others. Many parents have been taken by various factors even they don't even know that they have children to look after. They have numerous reasons not to be at home at the right time and have handed the responsibility to nannies.

The following are various factors that that hindered bondage in the family.

1. Communication

Nowdays there are no one on one communication. Before then our great grandparents had a good way of talking to each other. Let's say a problem has risen among the couples, instead of sitting together and talk about the problem and it's solution,they cut off communication. You find others they don't even talk to each other when a problem comes. Some even don't eat because he/ she wronged you. Instead of sleeping in the same bed room you sort to sleep on the couch or in a different bedroom, to avoid seeing beach other. 

A good family is the that sits together and talk friendly to one another. Causing tantrums and commotion in the house doesn't make you a hero, it makes you to create more problems in the house.  If it's the child who has done wrong, discipline him/her politely ,try to explain why or how it's bad to do that mistake and it's consequences. Definitely a child will understand and change his behaviors. 

Don't be rush to rebuke the kid,just try to to talk friendly to him/her and I think this one will solve everything. Children needs someone who counsels them and who embraces or instills good attitude to them .

On the side of the parents, fighting or quarrelling the whole night, refusing to eat or not providing for the family isn't a solution just sit down and talk. Or you can have a day out or night out ,you go there and discuss the issue and solve the problem. I think  communication is all the master solver for all problems.

2. The screen

When it comes to screen,there are alot of things to talk about. Due to modernity many family members have sorted to engage themselves on the screens. 

Mobile phones. This includes iPad ,tablets and other gadgets. Imagine walking in in a family and you find the mother is on the phone, the father is on the laptop and children are watching cartoons and nobody seems to care each other. You will even find yourself talking to yourself.  You try to engage them in a talk ,but none seems to bother. 

The children will be  hungry because the mum will be watching tiktok, Instagrams, Facebook Whatsapp chatting with somebody until she forgets to prepare meals for the family. The child will be having a good message to pass to the parent , but because the mother is preparing some live videos on Facebook, tiktok linked , Whatsapp status she doesn't care about the children. You would find the child has soiled her clothes and she even starts to smear it on the floor and the mother even has not noticed of not aware what's happening in the house.

The kids had been given homework and they are supposed to seek help from the parents .When the children approaches the father, he sends them back  not showing any fatherly love to the kid. Because he is busy chatting and looking on status on how young ladies are shaking their boobs and buttocks,and talking to side chics,his mind is altered and doesn't reason beyond that.

The teens have also been mislead by the social media.  They no longer do or help their parents in the house. They are always on the internet downloading love songs, chatting with their boy friends and girlfriends, making videos on tiktok, Instagrams, Whatsapp status others if not carefully monitored would be watching pornographic.  If a parent needed something and tries to call one of the teens , he would be deceiving herself , because there will be no response from them. 

The children when it comes to watching cartoons, it's like their meal. Even you you try to tell them to eat first ,they will not until you switch off the TV and you be on their neck so that they can take their meals. You find them in school talking of a certain program and other children are busy commenting, so this gives them the psyche to watch on the programs on the TV. They even forget to do their homework, helping their parents and they seems not to care at all.

Unless we cut of spending much time on screen, then our families are doomed and we can't have good -children relationship in our homes.

 3. Time

Most of the parents don't have time for their families. You find a parent goes for work from 4am and returns home at 10pm when everyone in the house is a sleep. She or he doesn't know how the children slept, what they ate,how they did their assignment and about their health. The children see him/ her only on weekends probably when they go to church or when the parent is having the offs.

All the responsibility have be delighted to the nannies. Most of this nannies they don't have the knowledge on parenting and they can teach the children,all kinds of behaviours that are vice in the society. Imagine a mother who is breastfeeding comes home at 10pm and finds the kid is a sleep and the kid doesn't have enough time to breastfeed.

4.Work

Work has killed the togetherness in the family. Most of the parents have put more energy and time on work forgetting their counterparts children. They spend whole day working and he/she doesn't have space to communicate to their children. I don't discourage parents not to search for jobs or to have self employment,but they should try to have a parenthood in them. Sometimes work should not be our first priority in life. Let the family come first and the rest follows. 

Imagine a parent or the family members who are always on toes going  for work from morning to evening, coming home is late even you don't know your neighbours. They maybe knowing you, and when you meet on the street you don't greet them, they will even say that you no longer recognize people and in the really sense you don't know them.

Just try to have family meeting with your family when you have a day off ,to discover what is happening to your kids or other family members

Some people are assuming that, everyone understands that am busy and I don't have time for family gatherings. Forgetting that,people do commit their own time and space ,so that they can create good rapport in the family.

5. Separation

Most of the parents nowdays they prefer separation, which makes members of the family not to be together. You may find the father may decide to take his boy child and the wife takes the girls. Through this, the children may not have that bondness in the as a brother and sister.

Sometimes,a husband and wife can separate and the wife takes the children and children would not have that fatherly love. Maybe there would be a  problem in the family, but  we should sometimes try to figure out about the children. Children can loose trust to those parents , because they no longer recognize them as their guardians. 

The children in both sides develop weird behavior, because they are being brought in different environment this triggering good character. They maybe talking through the phone, but it doesn't mean that they will have that stronger love among the family members. Children will not even know their cousins, aunties and uncles plus their grandparents.

6. Divorce

Most of the family members have preferred to have divorce and they no longer want to live together. Through this ,the family relationship has became like a foregone folktale. 

The good relationship that existed between the two families, has become no longer in existence. You find the wife and husband, each one wants to go with the kids and the court has to intervene and decide where the children will stay until they reach at a certain age.

7.Rural-urban migration.

Most of the families have gone or migrated to town in search of green pastures.  Others are living in towns because they have been posted there to work thus limiting them to have good relationship with other family members. 

Preferably,others have decided to move to other places to avoid conflicts,others believe in witchcraft that if they stay at home, the people in the village will not feel good for them because they are wealth. Others have been chased or excommunicated from the community because they did some vices that aren't accepted by the community.

Through this, it has led to breakage of family bondage. Even if the problem arises at rural home ,they aren't ready to help or be together with other family members. Even when the funeral arises, the persons in charge are those near the family, but those living in urban ,they seem not to care.

8.Going abroad

Most of the family haven't have good relationship with their members, because of long distance relationship. You find the father or the mother has been blessed and has gone to a broad in terms of further studies, scholarship, Green cards,or jobs. A person takes almost 2 years or one year before he/she comes back to his country, thus limiting strong relationship. A child may grew or be born without seeing his father,because the father had gone a broad.

It makes children to be raised by one parent which kills the morale of bondage and trustfulness among the members.

In family relationship it's good to ensure that you video call , you can call or try to visit every mother or after two week even you are living in urban areas. Those in a broad try as much as possible not to exceed two years or if possible you can visit yearly.

I request you to share my article, comment it add   other factors affecting family relation.