Family conflicts/ rivalry in our homes

A family is made up of a father, mother , brother, sister and a baby . That's how my son defines a family and when I try to tell him that his uncle from both sides plus his cousins are a family, he dismisses and says  they don't belong to our family. 

He is four years-old  may be when he will learn about types of family that's when he will understand it. 

A family is a group of people of father mother and children or near or distance relatives who are related either by birth, blood or they  have a common ancestry. 

Most families tend to stay together,and even they do things as a family. They can have family gatherings,and some special ceremonies that they visit each other they drink and eat together. Through this it creates strong family ties.

I have seen most of families helping each other in terms of finance,food , clothes and other basic needs. Or when or if it just happen that one of their member dies , they will gather and plan a good send off to the deceased. Each family has a certain  sum of money to contribute and this creates a good bondage a month the members.

Through this activities the family ties extends and even they start the chamas or merry go round to contribute monthly.

Most of the members have developed financially and other haven't. But even if all this togetherness, visitation, stretching an helping hand to certain people and the officials try to maintain peace and cohesion. Even in the market you can't or you will not miss mad man or woman that who tries to bring chaos and disrupt people.

Even in most families you can miss a weed that wants to grow in a rock even where there's no essential or even if the conditions of germination are present, there seems to be factors that affect germination. So in every family even if  both of them are staunch Christians there will be a pagan who will go against the Christian's teaching. Likewise to family members. There are some members who are ever opposing on whatever decision which is being made in the family. 

They stand to be against, when others are going to East,them they are moving to West. So when making decisions it became a difficult this creating enermity. You can make proposals and you agree, but two or four people they go s head and they will hold their side meeting and they start criticism and eventually conflicts arise or emerge.

The family members envy each other and even they don't greet each other and some start believing or practicing sorcerer and they end up killing each other.

So in every family which is like a society or a community , it has a lot of conflicts. The following are types of family conflicts. These conflicts can be  a result from land , marriage,will,money,children ,cattles, poultry or even gossip or jealous.

Siblings- siblings conflicts

Have you ever seen the siblings who grew up in the same homestead and they slept , ate,played together and eventually they became enemies. This rivalry became through over a small or a slight mistake. It could be due to property distribution,kids who fight unnecessary over food because they don't want to share, or you find that no one wants his/her items to be touched by somebody else.

This unnecessarily fights comes and even if a parent tries to intervene, they will leave for sometime and they will start again.

Also the older siblings will quarrel over property sharing. For example if the parents had alot of wealth and if it happens that the father has passed on before had divided the properties to his children, definitely it will result into disagreement.

Parent-parent conflict

Have you ever thought that their would be a conflict among parents? Yes it's true,because they would be fighting over things like:

 They would be disagreement on who provides to the family. Most families tend to know that it's only the husband that provides for the family. So even if the wife is working she doesn't provide and she forgets that if the husband God forbid he dies she will take the full responsibility of the family.

Another point,where you find the husband or the wife is a drunkard and seems not to care about his/ her family. Imagine somebody who goes to drink and comes home at midnight not knowing what the kids ate, did the children do the homework? Did they take bath or did they encounter any challenges at school or at home. So through this weird behavior leads to fight among them.

 Parent-children conflicts

There are some cases where the parents have disagreement with their children. The children will be lacking respect to their parents or parents not providing for their kids.

Some parents tends to forget their responsibilities as the parents in the house. For example they tend not to care about  what their children are going through. They don't bother to be near their family members and they act awkwardly when they are wrong.

I have seen where a father doesn't pay school fees, buy basic needs like clothes,food and good shelter ,

Parents who have partiality when it comes  to owning properties. You find a parent has  a tendency of loving some children more than other,even he / she makes the children hate one another. The children start to scold each other that you are not loved because you don't Excell in class.

Some parents site with children to go against one of their parents, especially the mothers.  You find the boys love their mothers and if it happens that their father is drunkard ,they will not respect him. They will not have that children dad love instead they will not even give food to him ,because they think that he isn't a good father.

Children also they can despise their children because they are poor. Most of the teens at their early age ,they don't want to introduce their parents to their friends because they feel that they will be looked down by their colleagues. So you find that parents become disturbed . If it was parents needed in school, these kids can even do it intentionally not to show their schoolmates, because they don't drive like other parents. They keep on abusing them why can't they be like other parents who own vehicles and other luxurious things. Through all these, it creates enemity between the parent and children.

Cousin -cousin conflicts

This conflicts comes due to inherited enemity between parents. You may find that, cousins from the father's side have the grudge may on issues of land or any other properties. They don't even say hi to each other and they don't borrow anything from one another.

A parent can prevent his/her children from even playing together, schooling in the same school,or even they don't visit each other not forgetting eating at their cousin's home. This rivalry has even caused some of the kids not to have that extended fraternity in them. They don't even respect their aunties and uncles or even their fellow age mate cousins.

Most of the cousins can fight due to ancestral land that their grandfather's had. They feel that one family was favoured that the other one. They even end up in court so they they can get justice. Some have sorted to even put parameter walls that they don't want to see each other.

There are other conflicts in the family like physical,sexual, psychological,verbal and mentally. 

If you have any other conflicts you can add it in the comment section.